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October 20 www.priscillatan.comWell, as you can see, my last post was ages ago. I've moved my blog to www.priscillatan.com. I am not sure if any friends still pop over to this blog but I've stopped posting here. So, find me at the new blog!! August 01 Long time ago...It feels like a long time since I am home. Just got home yesterday and running fever plus stomach spasm which doctor suspected to be appendix. Izzie said it's dangerous and for a while, I was really worried. Decided to just trust God. There's really nothing much I can do. I faithfully take all the horrible prescribed medicine and claim healing. I came home and everyone at home's nice to me. They must have missed me.
I'm pretty much settled down at work but I AM BUSY! VERY BUSY. Was having a chat with Amanda, my ex boss and miss her lots. We've been trying to meet up but my work hours are quite mad lately. However, friends around me can see a brighter and more positive me and I thank God for giving me great people to work with. There are lots of blessings. Marie and Izzie have been really cool to work with. Other colleagues have been supportive and nice too. Sometimes, work place is a scary place. People can be horrible. clients can be nasty and unreasonable and bosses not understanding but God has put me in a good place. I am quite oblivious to what is happening around anyway. I just want to be positive, do my work well, love and encourage people around me and GO HOME TO READ MY BOOKS!
Pastor was just reminding me that the moment you feel that you are trying and trying and failing and failing, it's really not from God. Let Go and Move on. I am glad I moved on and I am much happier now and know that despite what I go through, He is with me!
I've not been out with friends for quite a while. I miss Yen but we are having our "3-some" this Saturday with Jon. Yay! Probably nice nice dinner.
Missing Patsy too. Patsy, if u are reading this, drop me a note!
Jon also said, long time never see Sue! Where is the pretty babe? Gonna be Mrs very soon!
July 17 Update of my new chapter of lifeWoah! I've not been blogging for almost a month now!!
I've started my new job and have been so busy, I can hardly breathe but I am happier than before.
Although there is no perfect job, no perfect place to be but I am blessed! I have a great team. I can also see barnie across the room.
Today, I was angry about something but it last only for a while because I decided that it's just a small issue. My God is bigger than all problems!
I'll be going away next week a short trip! Happy!!! Looking forward to it!
Jon had finished serving his world cup prison sentence. He's now doing NOTHING at home! I am glad. Even though now i am the one who's staying late at work and busy busy, the thought that he's at home and resting well is a comforting thing.
I got two new books!! I got Neil Gaiman's Caroline and a new book I picked out by random - Little Face by Sophie Hannah.
Over the weekend, JOn and I finally caught up with Yen and watched Pirates of the Carribean! Love it!
Ok. that's all for now. I need to pack my gym bag and sleep. I've been good. I go to gym at 6.30am nowadays. yippepeee
June 25 Saturday FeverThe weather has gone bad. People are falling ill. Clients and colleagues were sniffing away last week. I have been stuffing myself with vitamins to avoid similar fate. This morning, I woke up with a disappointment that forced me to cancel my gym training - yes, I was down with sniffing and a huge headache. Gggrrrr!
Slept through almost the entire day. Thank goodness it's weekend. Yes, wasted a Saturday, but better than falling sick on weekdays since it's beginning of my new job and have lots to go through. But I do like my new job alot more now. THough it's too early to judge, but I am determined to stay very positive and I know I can do all things through God's grace. I also believe have a good team, and God as my mentor, I am in good hands! Anyway, since I am not doing much today, I took the "conscious time" (when I am awake), to read my new favourite book - Ben Carson's Gifted Hands. I've been picking up biographies recently, a new genre that I seldom touch in the past. It's a wonderful true life story about Benjamin Carson - his poor childhood, from his slow mind to the brilliant brian surgeon who brought hope to many children.  CHECK IT OUT! VERY TOUCHING AND INSPIRING BOOK! June 22 Nasty Women Bosses?Earlier on, I read in HER WORLD magazine, featuring an ex-client and ex-boss about Nasty Women Bosses. I've been reading John C. Maxwell's "Be A People Person" recently and it is a very interesting topic - HOw to really be the person people want to hang out with, want to work with, want to trust. I am at a point of career where I have to report to superiors as well as having junior colleagues and peers to manage and work with. Often, I find myself caught in situations where I want to be the best mentor to my juniors and at the same time, show the more aggressive side of me to bosses because the world believes that you have to be LOUDER (equals effective, hyper and enthusiastic) to be great! I have an ex colleague who is quiet but he is so brilliant. The loud ones sure get attention but do they outlast the brilliant, meek but effective colleagues? Jon always say I should be more aggressive with people to get my way. I honestly don't believe in that. Assertive (sometimes), Yes. But I agree with Maxwell's Golden Rule of "Put yourself in someone else's position instead of putting them in their place." It's so true. Often, we are quick to say, "I HATE working with who and who ... (interns, assistant, colleagues, bosses etc etc)... but hey, if we think back, when we were interns, when we were juniors, when one day we are CEO, what would we do in that position? Do we always say, "THAT'S WHAT INTERN SHOULD DO?" or do we say, hey, when I was intern, I was sick of pasting stamps all the time and nobody comes over and says, "Great work and Thank you!" because everyone in the office thinks, "oh well, that person is paid to do that!" Honestly, nobody is perfect. I may be a manager, but I don't always know everything. My ex intern and colleague is young but I learnt so much from him. Little things, but interesting things that if I don't give a damn, I would never find out and never know a great friend. The old saying, "it's always easier to say than to do.." is somewhat true. Many times, I can easily snap at my juniors and say, "I EXPECT BETTER FROM YOU! RE-DO! THIS IS CRAP!" and then go around telling other peers that "THAT STUPID JUNIOR IS NOT UP TO STANDARD" .. Now, imagine if you are the junior, you are in that position of taking probably a bad instruction from your superior, you tried your best but for various reasons, you didnt summit something up to his/her expectation. You feel even lousier now that your superior criticise your work and everyone in office thinks you are not good enough. I have been there. I know the feeling SUCKS BIG TIME! I've been very blessed as well to have VERY GOOD BOSSES in the past who have the heart to mentor and nurture and most importantly - TO ENCOURAGE. Reminding myself all the time, regardless of whatever position I am in, put myself in the other person's place, and find good things to encourage! Encouragement goes a long way, criticising and constantly putting someone down will not make that person feel any BETTER. The world is Rude and Senseless that way. My Golden Rule is - Meek but not Weak. It takes a lot more strength to be patient and kind than to be loud and nasty. So, I pray I walk in the light and Thank you Patsy for your constant encouragement and your discerning spirit that sense my fear, my desperation and my joy. In you, I see the glory of God. So, keep walking upright and you are doing SO GREAT!!! June 19 NEXT CHAPTERIt's coming to the end of my 2 weeks break. I'll be moving on to start a new job this coming Wednesday. Had a chat with Izzie today, my ex Octagon colleague who's going to be my new colleague again. How cool right?
We told each other that we'll be a VERY GOOD AND VERY POSITIVE TEAM. And I know we will.
Though it's coming to the end of my very good break, even though I've not gone anywhere and not done anything much, I enjoyed each day and I thank God for everything.
God has been very very very wonderful to me. I know that if He puts me at this new place, He has a solid great plan for me. He has already put good people in place for me! I pray for good clients and good media friends who will make my job a wonderful one. People say, "fat hope!" but I say, "yay! Hope FAT FAT AH!!!" God is for me, everything is possible!
I shall now go think what I am wearing for my first day of work!
 Yay!!!
June 12 Music and the BrainI listened to a sermon this morning on CD and heard this interesting relevation Pastor said. The sermon is about how worship will reveal God's wisdom to us.
In his sermon, he mentioned studies have shown that classical music is proven to improve people's intellect. I was intrigued. I came home and did a quick search online and read this article - How does music affect intelligence?
It says, " Music can improve learning skills, test taking skills, concentration, heartbeat, and relaxation. Music has been proven to offer several benefits for infants, young children, young adults, as well as for adults"
Another BBC report stated, "Scientists in London are carrying out a study to see if music therapy could be introduced on the NHS to help dementia patients"
Amazing, isn't it? I thank my parents for sending me to music school since I was 4!! heehehe. I AM SMART! YAY YAY!!!
 So, if classical music can bring along so much health benefits, Pastor concluded that heavenly music - Worship songs can still the heart, brings peace and restore the soul, the spirit and the body.
If you have kids, start letting them listen to some good music everyday!
June 10 Fourth Day and a nice bookIt's the fourth day of REST! I didnt exactly stay home and REST today but I am in total peace. As I sat at the gym couch, eating my salmon backed rice and watching the rain fall on the green trees along Nicole HIghway, I quietly said, "Thank you Lord."
I thank God for the peace. I thank God for the beautiful day. I thank God for giving me such time of rest and bringing to my attention once again, the things I take for granted when I am busy.
 Life is at its best when you have a good book, reading on a nice couch, sipping earl grey tea and just enjoying everything!
I was reading Waking the Dead by John Eldredge
Patsy was telling me how she's blessed with the writing and I have this book for a while now but haven't really read it. I brought it out with me today and I couldn't put it down. Melvin used to tell me you have to read John Eldredge's stuff! Now, I believe both of them.
It's a great book for believers!!
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Anyway, I was out and i told myself not to over spent. The temptation is great. It's midnight shopping sale at Suntec and regardless of what I told myself, I still ended up spending $70++ on a denim skirt and a box of really nice chocolate for jon that cost more than those you find at Godiva. But since it's for Jon, it's worth it! He has been working non stop for more than 24 hours ... I just want a smile on his face and chocolates always do the trick! :)
June 09 Third day at homeToday's the third day I am not working. I can't tell you how wonderful it it. I woke up at 10am. Watched March of the Penguins, it's a great film! And went to visit granny.
Back home now - doing nothing. haha. I re-arranged my jewel box and took some pics of my new buys!
I can really get used to the great life like that. My poor darling, on the other hand is soon going into a mad period as World Cup starts TONIGHT!!! I am staying up to watch the opening! hehee
June 08 Come on, Just READ!!I was lamenting with an editor about how annoyed I get whenever I turn to the book reviews in the papers and magazines only to find out that the "reviewers" have probably not read the books but merely copying a paragraph from the press releases.
This editor whom I spoke with was reviewing some computer games and he actually spent hours to play it, passed it to colleagues to play and get comments before reviewing it for the readers. Although I am not a big fan of computer games, I appreciate the effort. To me, that's the basic of reviewing.
The local government is even running a campaign - Read Singapore to encourage SIngaporeans to read. How sad right? I wrote about this last year, so shall not bitch about it again. I appreciate the government's effort really and I am trying my best to support it in whatever small ways i can.
I told my brother off today!
He is having his school holiday and he kept complaining he has NOTHING TO DO. So, i said, go grab a book and read! He sulks and he continues playing his electronic game. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against computers or games, infact I like both.
The very fact that people don't read annoys me. To me, that's like the basic thing people should do. Nobody asks you to read Darwin's theories or Aristotle's philosophies, just read whatever interests you. Last week, I picked up Alice in Wonderland at Kinokuniya, simply because I just want to read something easier, something light hearted and something fun at that point. And oh boy, I find so much joy just re-reading such classic. Beautiful language. powerful descriptives and lovely illustrations. I feel young and happy again!
I was telling my brother, I don't care what you read, try to read SOMETHING. To encourage him, I even bought mystery books, game books, lifestyle magazines and when I found out that he has great interest in sciences and biomedicine, I went to the bookstore and bought some books for him on those topics. But nope! the books are sitting in the room, while his eyes are glued to the tiny tiny little screen of game.
I was blaming my parents for not starting us off on a reading habit since young. The way of telling us to read when we were young was really bad. It actually turned us off. I thank God that I am probably born with some reading genes that since I was in primarily school, I automatically started reading and going to libraries on my own. When I grow up, I find solace in reading and now, Jon contributes to my book collection and habit.
I applaude the government for noting the lack of reading habit amongst Singaporean.
So, come on, READ SINGAPORE!
btw, I found a nice book blog here:-
And I have starting to arrange my book shelves to try squeeze in those books that are lying everywhere else.
  June 06 Chapter 28 (part 1)Today is the special 6-6-06 date. Some said it's auspicious. Others called it the day of the devil. For me, it's (coincidentally) my last day at work. I've officially ended my stay with Upstream, thus closing a unique chapter of career life.
Everyone sends me well wishing notes. I was expected to be joyful.
I am not.
I am definitely more relaxed. Relief even to be away from the tremendous stress. Definitely not happy. I look forward to a good break to read my books, to catch up with friends and to work out. I look forward to new challenges ahead but I really miss my (ex)colleagues. There is a weird sense of "loss".
At 28, what do I want to achieve next? I am not exactly sure and I am seeking God's wisdom.
I've learnt precious lessons the last few months. No matter how unimportant they sound, they are important to me:-
- I learnt that we should never apologise all the time. It becomes a habit and it is bad.
- I learnt to be patient. I am already quite a patient person but I learnt to be patient and not feel bad.
- I learnt that work is afterall, just work. There should and there IS LIFE outside work
- I learnt that it is important to please God and not please man. Man is fragile and weak and man makes mistakes.
- I learnt to guard the mouth and tongue to say truthful and encouraging words to people. Nobody really wants to hear criticism all the time. Nobody wants to be told what to do daily.
- I learnt that it's really ok even if people disagree with me or didnt appear to be smart enough to even understand the simpliest thing. God is always fair.
- I learnt that having positive and happy people around me is one of the best blessing God gave me at work.
- I learnt most of all, that my God is for me and no one can be against me! I shall always stay victorious and at peace if only I would give more to God and listen more to His Wisdom.
What I take away - My next job, I am determined not to be affected by negativity. I never used to be. I am not sure what affected me lately but I'll recover and start again. I hate gossips. I hate bitching. I hate negative spirits.
And it all has to start with me making a decision not to be part of those.
June 05 Freaking ...A journalist who reads this space told me twice in the past week , "I need to send you a mail about your blog!" And the journo sounded so serious and left it as that. So, for the last few days, I didn't dare to update my blog. I was freaking out wondering "OH NO! What have I written wrongly!! heh.
Freaky isn't it. But after a while, I thought, "Hey, I wrote quite decent things! Though not always in perfect sentences and sometimes with lots of grammatical errors" haha..
So, here i am again!
Joy Joy last weekend! Jon got me two new books!! Yippppeee!!!
We went to Kinokuniya for the 20% SALE!!! I got The Possibility of an Island
 And I also bought ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. Awesome!!!!! Looking forward to the break so that I can just read up all my books!!
 May 30 The First peaceful Tuesday in MonthsToday is a peaceful Tuesday. It's the kind of life I like. It is so rare. Usually, I am perplexed and stressed on Tuesdays.
Counting down to 5 more days. The worrier in me wants to sneak out to reason why I should start worrying about "future".
I have subdued the worrier monster. I turned him to God!
Jon and I went to Bras Basah complex on Sunday, I've not been there for a long while. We both love the place. Jon bought me two big nice journals which I've used to write down my thoughts, challenges, prayers. The objective is so that when i looked back and see how God has blessed me through problems and give me wisdom to handle challenges. I love the idea of writing - the traditional way. I am so excited, I want to buy a new set of colored pens! hehee
Did i mention that I actually have a toolbox full of writing and drawing materials. I've given alot of my art materials to Jon but I still kept alot at home - sentimental value.
I went to get some nice little stuff as farewell gifts today. It suddenly feels like Christmas. Heh. May 29 MY SuperPowerI did a fun Xmen test to find out which X-Men I am and aha --- JEAN GREY!!!
It's kind of scary, isn't it? Jean's a confused girl though she has the most powerful POWER!
***You Are Jean Grey***
Although your fate is often unknown, you always seem to survive (even after death). Your mind is your greatest weapon, literally! Powers: telepathy and telekinesis, the ability to project thoughts into the mind of others, communication with animals
Honestly, if I were to be able to choose a super-power, I would like Jean (phoenix's power) but without the confusion and mess, and I would like to have the disappearing power of Nightcrawler (and his faith)!
May 27 GSS and World CupIt's a peaceful Saturday. I love the rain.
I stayed at home today, trying to see if I can save more money by not going out or be tempted by the Great Singapore Sale - for a day. In the end, I went out for a short while with mummy, to have lunch (disgustingly at Mac Donald's) and then I spent $20 bucks buying some stuff for the house.
The SALE officially started and I am already making mental notes on the things I want to get. The list is long and growing each day. HEH. I was surfing the GSS website earlier, mummy and I planned to do one of the late night shopping soon!
Someone reminded me that my upcoming break falls nice into the GSS and World Cup period. I can already see myself waking up slowly, peacefully, blissfully at 11am, have nice breakfast, watch World Cup news, go gym for training and then SALE shopping and be back to rest and be in time for WC matches at night! HAHAHAH
I can really live like that for a long time! I have a huge potential to be a true tai tai if anyone wants to feed me and support me! haha
Seriously, I am thinking what I should be doing during my break. Jon is not free to go anywhere with me. Shorbs is going for work trip. Thank goodness yen is back from Bangkok.
Few things that are already in the itinerary include:-
- Meeting ex colleagues and friends whom I've been neglecting.
- Catch up on some movies I had missed
- Finish reading my books and BUY MORE BOOKS!
- Books shopping at SKS bookstore and wherever else that has sales!
- Lots of work out and gym training (to make up for the lack of it the past few months)
- Get back in the social scene and attend some parties and gatherings <-- the only work related activitity I can think of for now. hahaaha
The few weeks of rest should be NON WORK RELATED!
May 25 Hurt but not brokenThis morning, Patsy just told me she's very encouraged by my last two entries. I re-read again and thought, WOW, there's annointing when I wrote them.
Immediately after that, the day turned bad.
Pastor said, how do you know if a friend, partner or job is really for you? Simple. The person or the place has to give you PEACE. When you are with that friend, that friend does not deplete you of energy but replenishes you - that's a good friend. I know Jon is right for me because, despite silly things he did sometimes and the mess he made, there is alot of joy and solid support and peace when he's with me. When you are at a work place and instead of bringing satisfaction and motivation, the place depletes all your strength and peace, then you know - RUN!!!!
When I told Patsy that I am on the road to recovery to positivity again - things had to turn so bad that I borrowed $15 from a colleague, called for a cab and rushed home. I was dying to be home and to tell God to remove that bad thing!
I was really upset with someone. I really like that person and I asked God, "Is it something I did wrong?" And even if I did, can't that person show a bit of understanding? The last one month had been so tough. Everyone thinks I am gloating and happy now but I AM NOT. I am trying my bloody best to do the Right thing but everything I do now is being wrongly JUDGED. People say nasty things to me, conscious or sub-consciously. I try to tolerate and I try to stay positive. But IT HURTS.
My mind was going round and round, trying to figure out a reason why that person was so nasty to me.
Till now, I have no answer but I have prayed to forgive that person.
May 24 Finding The TruthI was reading Lee Strobel's "The Case for Christ" again as I was reading several news articles and blogs debating on and commenting about the Da Vinci Code (book and film) and the- Gospel of Judas.
   In my last 15 years as Christian, I have never doubted Christ's divinity. I have never doubted the authenticity of the Bible. Sometimes, I question God about things but that's because I believe He is God and He has answers.
People generally are not anti-God. People need the Lord. All controversy, all debates in the world are about Christ. There are anti-Christ and why? Because Jesus is not like the World.
So, I went back and dig out some books I've read before by "non-spiritual" writers such as Lee Strobel who's a journalist, an award winning legal editor and was an atheist but after he finished his investigations and wrote many books about the findings of Christ, he is now a teaching pastor in California.
I want to find out historical truth about my Saviour. Not so much to prove to anyone that he is Lord because deep down in my heart - I know He is Alive. It is a relationship, an experience that I have with him the last 15 years.
It is like you and your partner, someone you love -- Do you constantly ask him or her - PROVE that you are my partner! Ahh.. think carefully, not asking him/ her to prove the love for you but to ask to prove that he/she IS your partner.
That sounds silly, isn't it? Imagine me asking Jon everyday, Darling, prove to me that you are my boyfriend. Or having people questioning me everyday, "do you have proof that Jon IS your boyfriend?" Ridiculous.
People who question Christ now because they don't have a personal relationship with him. When you know Jesus, you have a relationship with him, you experience his love, his care and blessings on a daily basis amd you'll not need any scientific or historical proof. He's there. All the time. And trust me, you'll know it. Just like I know Jon loves me.
I don't know how else to explain but ...
The Bible says, "COme, taste and see that the Lord is good".
You never try, you never know, therefore what rights then for people to demand proof of Christ's divinity.
May 23 What a Blessed LifeAt this point in my life, many friends would probably think I need all the encouragement and all the patting on the back so that I feel better about the recent happenings. Friends had been calling me, mailing me and checking on me to ensure I am ok. I really appreciated my friends but honestly, I appreciated my boyfriend MOST -- and that's because he doesn't really ask me much! He believes in God. He believes in me. He believes that I am good and brilliant and blessed enough to go through anything. He believes that making me talk about all the bads things will not make me feel any better.
Last night, I was feeling unwell. I talked to God. I wanted to know what is my next steps. I asked for signs and wonders.
All I got was silence.
Then this morning, i woke up (with running nose and more sick), but on the way to work, in the cab, I was listening to one of Pastor's old sermon (while i was half falling asleep) and i heard God said, " I've always been faithful. THink about it..."
And I thought...
And I remembered. Let's not think too far.... just starting from 3 years ago... The short marriage failed and I thouoght it was end of the world and end of life... BUT no no! God showed mercy, showed grace and showed me more love. And He sends Jon to me. Since then I am so loved!!!
May 16 Jon's Birthday and My booksToday's Jonathan's Birthday!
This year, I chose the easy way out, I gave him lots of vouchers. I was hoping he use the vouchers to buy the things he really want. He used half of his Takashimaya vouchers to buy a hair shaver - he cuts his own hair.
He spent all of his Gramaphone voucher on DVDs. He bought The Wizard of Oz and Raging Bull - both I love!
He also got a certificate from me to entitle him for loads of love and hugs and a dinner treat (He hasn't claim them yet).
He has to go to work today so we celebrated his birthday on Saturday.
We went to Balcony on Saturday and had our usual "3-some" meeting with Yen. Yen bought him a big box of chocolates on the way back from Cebu. So Spoilt!!!
And that night, Liverpool won the FA CUP game and he was estatic.
Today, I took half day leave to have a few hours with him before he goes to work. I treat him to his favorite Crystal Jade food and he got another surprise gift - another box of dark chocolates!! Again - VERY SPOILT!!
What he didnt get - is a birthday cake. I felt so bad. I actually didnt think of that. I was so stressed and busy at work and he has been very busy with World Cup stuff in office as well, we don't have alot of time together. He just called to say a sweet person bought him a cake at the office.
Sighs..guess this girlfriend needs to work harder.
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Books - i really have so many un-read books now, I am not sure if i should speed up my reading or should I stop buying. Patsy and I have the same silly problem, we aim to build our little library. Mine's growing rapidly at the rate Jon and I buy books. TSK.. very bad!!!
May 05 The Gym Hamster(btw, the folllowing entry is filled with grammatical errors, but i can't be bothered to amend, so if you are reading it, don't bother to comment to tell me the mistakes, I am not gonna change. heh)
My whole body is aching. I must have walked at such slow speed back home, it took me more than 2 hours to slowly walked from gym to MRT and slowly got down, walked even slower to buy food and then drag myself home.
Today was the toughest training so far. The trainer seems very pleased with himself while I was trying to catch my breath after running, carrying weights, doing many crunches on the gym ball, and repeating everything in 3 sets! GGgggrrrrr.
The comforting thing is - I have flushing red cheeks now. Trainer said I am faster and stronger now - yay yay!! and he promised that I'll definitely be able to fit into the pretty dress! haaha.
So ok, forgive him for the torture. See, that's the purpose of the personal training anyway. I will NEVER do all these circuits repeatedly on my own. I probably do everything wrong anyway even if I tried to do myself. That's the problem with many people who go to gym. Even though it's better to just do some workout (whatever they are) and sweat, it is important to exercise the right way.
Without the trainer, I would never have realised that my shoulders are not balanced, my left arm is weak and my lower back and core is not strong enough. So, even when I have the gym ball at home, I would have done all the wrong way and injure my back more.
Well, having said that, personal training comes with a hefty price. The blessing comes with Jon paying for my two-years gym membership and Shorb split the personal training with me so that we can both have trainer at half the price. :)
The trainer said he thought i would give up half way today, he was pleased I am determined to pull through the whole session. I am now SUFFERING, but he is a good trainer. He took great care of me and Shorb and draft programmes to meet our goals. And stopped us from stuffing our face at Carl's Jr. hahaaha.
Jon said, I am turning into a gym hamster! Run Run Run. Actually, trainer said my cardio is quite ok already, I am now training the rest of the body, the core, the muscles, build and tone every part of the body.
PAAAIIIINNNNN!!!!
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